Wedding Stationery

home	\|	my account	\|	contact us	\|		shopping bag

shop

Wedding Stationery

Home > Wedding Stationery

WEDDING BASICS
For additional information, also see our Frequently Asked Wedding Questions.

CHOOSE A TOPIC FROM THE LIST BELOW:

* Invitation & Stationery Timeline
* Sending Save The Dates
* Asking Guests To Respond
* Address on the Response Envelopes
* What If Someone Doesn't Complete Their RSVP Correctly
* Favor vs. Favour
* Reception Cards
* Including Gift Registry Information

* Assembling Your Wedding Invitations
* Invitation Tissue Paper
* The Reason for Double Envelopes
* Identifying the Outer Envelope
* Return Addresses
* Hiring a Calligrapher
* The Difference Between Escort Cards and a Place Cards
* Wedding Announcements
* Thank You Notes 101

Invitation & Stationery Timeline
10-12 months before the wedding date:
• Begin your Save The Date search if you will be having a destination wedding or if you will be having several out of town guests. Get started here!

6-8 months before the wedding date:
• Mail your Save The Dates.
• Begin your invitation search. Start to narrow down your favorite styles, paper colors and ink colors. Get started here!

4-6 months before the wedding date:
• Order your invitations.
• Start working on your wording for your wedding programs & menu cards.

3-5 months before the wedding date:
• Send your invitations to your calligrapher or start addressing the envelopes yourself.
• Start assembling your invitations.
• Take a fully assembled set to the post office to determine postage requirements.

2 months before the wedding date:
• Mail your invitations.
• Order wedding programs, menu cards and any other stationery needed for the ceremony and reception.
< back to top

Sending Save The Dates
Your Save The Dates will essentially tell guests when and where you are getting married so they can mark their calendars. Save-the-dates are not necessary, but if you are getting married on a holiday weekend, having a destination wedding or getting married in the busy summer months, you may want to alert guests before they make alternate plans. You should also include any necessary travel information in your save-the-date mailing, so your guests can begin to make arrangements to attend.

You can send Save The Dates 4-8 months in advance of the wedding date. If you are having a destination wedding, you can send a save-the-date with travel information as early as 12 month in advance.
< back to top

Asking Guests To Respond
Most brides ask that their replies be received 2-3 weeks before their wedding date. This, of course, it a completely personal choice but it usually depends on who is catering the reception and when they need a count to purchase the proper amount of food. People live busy lives and there will always be a few late replies, so you can ask people to reply a few days before you actually need the final count or just add a percentage to the total so you cover those that are late to reply or don’t reply at all.
< back to top

Address on the Response Envelopes
Your response cards should be sent to the person handling the organization of the guest list. This is usually the bride, bride’s mother or wedding planner. The address on the response envelope does not have to match the return address on the invitation, but should include both a name and the address. There should be no abbreviations in the address for city, state, street or apartment.
< back to top

What If Someone Doesn't Complete Their RSVP Correctly
You may have guests who will neglect to write in their names on the RSVP card, or who write illegibly. To be sure each guest is accounted for, solve this problem by numbering your guest list, then inconspicuously writing the corresponding number on the back of each response card with a pencil. When the RSVPs are returned to you, if a name is not included or is illegible, cross reference the number on the back of the card against your guest list.
< back to top

Favor vs. Favour
This applies to US customers:
Either spelling can be used, just be sure to be consistent with your usage. If you use the word "honour" on the invitation ("...request the honour of your presence"), use "favour" on the RSVP ("The favour of a reply is requested...").

If you use "honor" on the invitation, use "favor" on the RSVP. Traditionally the formal, British spelling with the “u” is preferred in proper wedding etiquette but whichever form you choose, use it in both words.

Take a look at our Wedding Wording Guide for more wording and spelling rules.
< back to top

Reception Cards
The general etiquette for a formal wedding suggests that it is not proper to include reception information on the invitation. If your ceremony and reception are at different locations, they are considered separate events and require a separate reception invitation. However, if your wedding is informal, your ceremony and reception are at the same location or at well know location close to the ceremony site, it is acceptable to add “reception immediately following” and the reception location to your invitation, beneath the ceremony location line. Sometimes guests are invited to the ceremony and not the reception, so in that case, you would only print the amount of reception cards needed for those guests invited to the reception.
< back to top

Including Gift Registry Information
It is never proper to include registry information in your invitation suite. That is too much like asking for a gift in exchange for coming to the wedding. The best way to let people know where you are registered is by word of mouth. The only time gifts can be mentioned is with a shower invitation, where it is acceptable to include registry information.
< back to top

Assembling Your Wedding Invitations
Invitations are assembled, face up, in order of size. The invitation is first, then all other cards are stacked on top. The reception card is placed on top of the invitation, the reply card is tucked under the reply envelope’s flap and then placed on top of the reception card. These are the most common enclosures. Any other enclosure cards are added face up in order of size. You should place the invitation and its enclosures into the inner envelope with the flap on the right, so you can remove the contents with your right hand while holding the envelope with your left. The inner envelope is then placed inside the outer so that the face of the inner envelope (not the flap) is visible.
< back to top

Invitation Tissue Paper
Historically tissue paper was used to separate each invitation when delivered to the bride. In those days, tissue paper was required to separate the invitations because the ink drying techniques weren’t as advanced as they are today. The tissue paper was supposed to be removed before sending the invitations but some brides thought the tissue paper was supposed to be mailed with the invitation, and so the trend began. We at betsywhite aren’t big fans of this trend so our invitations do not include tissue.

If you want added protection for your invitations, the best bet is to have your invitations hand cancelled by the post office, so they aren’t run through a machine and possibly damaged.
< back to top

The Reason for Double Envelopes
Traditionally, invitations are delivered in two envelopes: a slightly larger outer envelope, with a smaller envelope containing the actual invitation enclosed. This tradition stems from even before the 20th century, when almost all wedding invitations were hand-delivered. In those days, the recipient's butler would take the (probably dirty) envelope from the courier, open it and present the neat, clean inner envelope to the lady of the house. Thus was a tradition born that continues to this day. Although with today's postal systems your invitation will not suffer the same perils during transit, your outer envelope will still be stamped, jostled and handled a great deal before being delivered to your guests, so having a pristine inner envelope is always a nice touch.
< back to top

Identifying the Outer Envelope
The outer envelopes are “gummed” with glue on the flap, so you can seal them for mailing. The inner envelopes are slightly smaller and contain no glue on the flap.
< back to top

Return Addresses
When printing the return address on the back flap of the outer envelope, you should use the address of whomever is issuing the invitations. If your parents are hosting the event, then their return address should appear on the back flap of the envelope. Some people use the return address to let people know where gifts should be sent, so if you want your gifts to be sent directly to your home, then use your address. When providing the address information, you only need the address, not the names. There should be no abbreviations in the address for city, state, street or apartment.
< back to top

Hiring a Calligrapher
Proper invitation etiquette says that you should hand address your inner and outer envelopes. If your hand-writing isn't up to par, you may want to ask a friend with stellar penmanship to help with the addressing or better yet, hire a calligrapher. If you choose to hire a calligrapher, be sure to ask about their schedule. Depending on how many invitations you are sending and how busy the calligrapher is, it could take a week or up to a month for him/her to complete the addressing. You may need to order your invitations earlier to allow enough time for addressing.
< back to top

The Difference Between Escort Cards and a Place Cards
Escort cards are displayed at the entrance of the reception to help your guests find their table. The bride and groom’s name and the date are usually printed on top of the card. The guest’s name and table number should be handwritten on the card. Once your guests arrive at their table, they can choose their own seat.

If you would like to have everyone assigned a particular seat at the table, you may wish to order place cards also. Place cards display the guest’s name only and are positioned at the place setting where you want that guest to sit. The bride and groom’s names and date can be printed at the top of this card also. Again, the guest’s name would need to be handwritten on the card.
< back to top

Wedding Announcements
Wedding announcements are sent to friends and relatives who were not sent invitations to the wedding or if a couple has eloped. They are sent after the wedding has taken place and the year is always included since the event has past. Most brides order their announcements when they order invitations. The announcements are mailed as soon as possible after the wedding, but it is acceptable to send an announcement within one year of the wedding date.
< back to top

Thank You Notes 101
You should order at least as many thank you notes as you send invitations plus, an extra 25 (as you may receive gifts from people who were not invited to the wedding). If you have thank you notes remaining, you can always use them for other occasions.

Everyone who sends you a gift should receive a thank you note - this includes those who may not have given a gift but offered their help or services for your event. Although it is not necessary, it is even a nice touch to extend a thank you to those vendors who provided services for your event, especially if you were very pleased with their product or service.

Never type your thank you notes - it is considered proper etiquette to handwrite each note. It adds a special, personal touch.

WHEN TO SEND THANK YOU NOTES
It is ideal to send thank you notes 2-4 weeks after your wedding (or other wedding-related event). At the very latest, thank you notes can be sent up to 3 months after the event. It is never proper to send a thank you 6 months to a year after the gift was given, despite popular belief.

WHAT TO INCLUDE IN A THANK YOU NOTE
When writing your note, mention each gift and let the giver know that you are looking forward to using it. Also, if applicable, thank that person for any special effort they went to on your behalf - whether they had to travel for the event, let you use their home, let you borrow a special item, etc.

< back to top

need assistance?

shop

betsy who?

ordering info

shipping info

inspiration

send an inquiry

frequently asked questions